Is Honesty Best When Caring for those with Alzheimer’s?

Honesty is the best policy. That’s something that almost all of us have probably heard at some points in our lives, probably from our parents when growing up. But is this well worn phrase true when helping someone out with dementia? People with dementia sometimes are disconnected with the facts of reality and may have unrealistic beliefs and expectations. They might expect that a spouse who has been deceased for several years is expecting them somewhere, or they may believe that a shirt that they have had for many years is not theirs.

 

As a family caregiver, your first reaction in instances like this might be to try and explain things to them logically. No, your husband is not waiting at the park for you. Remember? He passed away a few years ago. Yes, this is your shirt. I bought it for you for Christmas last year.

 

Conversations like this are likely to cause severe stress and agitation on behalf of your loved one. People with certain types of dementia, such as Alzheimer’s disease, can even become argumentative and aggressive under this type of circumstance.

 

Honesty with those with dementia can often hurt more than help.

 

Logic will not work in these instances. That is not how dementia works, unfortunately. The thoughts and arguments that are made may be untrue or even seem like lies to us, but to the person making them, they are very real. Telling the truth, even telling it logically and calmly, will not help to resolve anything. If this is the situation that you find yourself up against, than honesty isn’t going to be the best policy. You may find that logic helps out when explaining things in the early stages of dementia, but as the disease progresses, it will become less and less helpful.

 

This doesn’t mean that lying is the alternative. Instead of trying to explain things and potentially cause even more problems, it is more beneficial to redirect conversations. Give your parent something else to focus on. Instead of arguing over the fact that you remember giving them this shirt as a gift, find something else to draw their attention to. Questions that are open ended and require thought usually work the best in these cases. This method of helping those with Alzheimer’s is not always effective, but often it is.

 

As Alzheimer’s progresses, information that is contained within the brain becomes more and more fragile. Your mom or dad may remember something one day, and then have no recollection of it the next. Patience and understanding is needed when helping to assist someone with dementia. It’s required from family caregivers, and it is required from professional ones, as well. If you are going to be using a professional in-home care service to help you with the care of a parent, this sense of compassion is one of the most important traits that you should be looking for. There are other factors, of course, but compassion and kindness should be at or near the top of your list. Feel free to reach out to us if you have more questions on dementia and Alzheimer’s care.

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