Making Care Changes Without Guilt

Oftentimes, there is a level of guilt that comes when we are trying to help an older loved one with senior care. It can start out when we are acting as a family caregiver. Am I doing enough to help mom around the house? What about my job? Am I giving the other people that I love the attention and time that they deserve? These are all good and respectable questions, but it’s easy to see how they can also lead to a spiral of guilt that we aren’t doing enough to meet all of our obligations to the best of our ability.

 

As a family caregiver, your family’s wellbeing should be your highest priority. Sometimes this can mean removing yourself from a position of helping so that a professional can step in. Rather than being unhappy about this, we should be reassured that we are doing what’s best. You wouldn’t want to treat your child’s broken bone yourself; you would take them to someone who has medical training. And in many instances, we need someone with professional care training to step in and help where we do not have the right experience. Recognizing this can be a freeing experience as you are now assured that your parent is receiving the best care possible, even when you are away.

 

That doesn’t always change how we feel about things. Loving your family is good, and we want to do all that we can. But you can be a better family member if you take better care of yourself, too.

 

Caregiver burnout and the guilt that can be generated are common. But just because they are common does not mean that they should happen. You don’t ever need to feel guilty about doing what is right to help your loved ones. And if you are overwhelmed by the amount of care that is necessary to help your mom or dad, then finding a professional that can step in and help to supplement that you are providing is actually the right choice because it will enhance the quality of care that your parent will get.

 

Caregivers often feel guilt when finding a professional to step in, but this is often the more responsible choice.

 

Yes, we want to be able to step in and do it all. But when that’s not possible, then it is completely okay to enlist the help of a professional caregiver. This is not a relinquishing of your duties, but rather a recognition that your parent might need more help than what you are able to give them. If you can’t do it all, don’t worry. No one can.

 

Are you experiencing caregiver burnout? There are resources out there to help. Respite caregivers are available through many services (such as ours) that can help to temporarily ease your burden. Other resources, like your County, can also provide guidance on this issue. There’s no reason to continue feeling the crushing stress of this. If you’re in this situation, please reach out to someone for help carrying this. It might be a tough first step, but it will definitely be worthwhile to you and your entire family.

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